What Do You Think of These Passages?
Question by Mama Bear: What do you think of these passages?
My husband and I were cleaning our house today and i found one of the booklets that i got um, I think this one is from the Pregnancy Crisis Center. Its about adoption and doing the best things for your baby. I’d thought I share a few passages from it and pick your brain.
Q 1: “If I keep my baby maybe my baby’s father will… (marry me, stay with me, come back) Sorry but babies rarely have that effect on guys…especially guys who have sex with you before saying “I do.” Statistically, you’re much more likely to meet and marry Mr. Right later on if you release your baby to a loving adoptive parents than you are if you choose single motherhood.”
Q 2: “Ultimately, You are the mother of this baby and it is you – Not your parents, friends, or the baby’s FATHER – who should make the final decision.”
Q 3: ” Adoption saves your child from the all too frequent damage that comes from being raised in a fatherless home.” On a side bar it says “Children in families without fathers are five times more likely to grow up in poverty, four times more likely to commit suicide, two to three times more likely to abuse drugs. 70 %of long term inmates grew up fatherless and girls without a father in the home are more likely to get pregnant before marriage.”
Q 4: “The realities of single motherhood mean that your opportunities for dating, marriage, higher education, good jobs, and a comfortable standard of living may be severely limited.”
Q 5: ” One of the biggest lies ever is that abortion is an “easy solution.” Its anything but easy for your baby and you WILL suffer emotional consequences.”
Q 6 : ” Now, with the prevalence of open adoption, you not only choose your baby’s adoptive parents, you can get to know them and stay informed about where and how your baby is. Depending on the specific arrangement that you and the adoptive parents agree to, you can have varying degrees of news and contacts as your baby grows up.”
*note that it says nothing about it not being legally enforcable in any state.*
This just names a few that really stuck out to me. Remember they are handing this crap out to women who are going there looking for help and advise. Women who are experiences the troubles of an unplanned pregnancy and who are very hormonal.
So thoughts, comments?
Best answer:
Answer by Stat_jack
Nice Passage
The 3rd one
Add your own answer in the comments!
SHERIFF DART OPENS NEW JAIL SPACE FOR PREGNANT WOMEN – Pregnant women awaiting trial at the Cook County Jail will now be housed together in one area specifically designed to meet their pre-natal needs, part of a unique program unveiled Thursday by Cook County Sheriff Thomas J. Dart. The program was developed after two years of planning and the tier is fully staffed not only by correctional officers, but also by medical and nursing staff, along with case managers, counselors, mental health professionals and substance abuse counselors. That combined effort is aimed at guiding the women through a healthy pregnancy, providing them with the tools they need to further enhance their parenting skills and the motivation to become successful members of their communities. “As we looked at the special needs of pregnant women in our custody, we started a dialogue about the steps we could take to ensure they deliver healthy babies and ways we can help them understand that the decisions they make are not only affecting themselves, but someone else, as well,” Dart said. “This program is really a step toward breaking the cycles we’re starting to see far too often with our female detainees.” The number of mothers behind bars is growing at a staggering rate — a recent study showed they represent the nation’s fastest-growing prison population. More than 150000 children have mothers who are now incarcerated. It also revealed the loss of a mother to incarceration leads to unique and significant long-term traumas to a child. The Cook County Jail …
HIV Testing Clinic Visits Gloria de Santa Isabel Drug Addiction Center
Filed under: drug abuse help centers for pregnant women
On August 13, the Brazos Abiertos Yucatan (BAI) team was invited to conduct a testing event at the Gloria De Santa Isabel Drug Addiction Center. The shelter cares for … There were several pregnant women at the shelter. Early detection is the key to …
Read more on The Yucatan Times
Pregnant, and now spared hardships
Filed under: drug abuse help centers for pregnant women
They're residents of The Center for Great Expectations, a home for pregnant teens and adults who until recently suffered from homelessness, substance abuse, domestic violence and other forms of personal hardship. Allison … State officials said they'd …
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18 Responses to What Do You Think of These Passages?
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Hmmm, and people say coercion doesn’t happen these days. I dare anybody state that there is nothing coercive in the booklet.
Very interesting…thanks for sharing!
This one stood out to me..
“”Q 3: ” Adoption saves your child from the all too frequent damage that comes from being raised in a fatherless home.” On a side bar it says “Children in families without fathers are five times more likely to grow up in poverty, four times more likely to commit suicide, two to three times more likely to abuse drugs. 70 %of long term inmates grew up fatherless and girls without a father in the home are more likely to get pregnant before marriage.””
How many adoptees were eventually raised in a ‘fatherless home’?? Aparents do divorce, just like the general population of married couples. Sooooo….can we then attribute same to adopted children who are raised in a “fatherless home”?? My newborn was adopted by a couple that would divorce while she was a minor…..I stayed with the same guy for 43 years…for better or worse.
And how about ‘single’ women adopting…aren’t those adopted children from the get-go being brought into a ‘fatherless home’. See…””Q 4: “The realities of single motherhood mean that your opportunities for dating, marriage, higher education, good jobs, and a comfortable standard of living may be severely limited.”””
Talk about double standards and huge hipocracy!!!
This is typical. I have a number of agency booklets and this is how they present the ‘facts” to pregnant women today who come to them.
First they offer “unbiased counseling” and then they tell the women stuff like what you have quoted here.
Being a single mother isn’t easy. But adopting a child presents a set of problems as well, and agencies do not tell the pregnant women what those problems are likely to be.
Pregnant women are also not told that adoptive parents often divorce and the child can end up in a single parent home.
And open adoption is a scam.
I think that most of them are correct and logical! I don’t think the ‘father-less home’ part should be in there or the ‘open adoption’ part. And why doesn’t #1 say anything about the father not being there at all??
But the rest is very good food for thought. I have friends with unexpected pregnancies and they have considered all of those issues very seriously.
I am sure they are things that all pregnant women think about (in that situation). However, They should also talk about all the support that IS available. Parenthood isn’t something to go into lightly and everyone should know the struggles and hurdles they could face.
BUT they should really have both sides and know all help available in order to make a truly informed decision.
all true. they should add…. “Adoption””Be ready to go through life with severe depression and anxiety, because giving up your child for adoption makes you feel like you are going through a death in the family. and you will never be the same again”
Q1). Since when is something as important as parenting your own child about keeping a man?
Q2). “Ultimately, You are the mother of this baby”. Then why do they want mothers to just give their babies away?
Q3). If that’s so, why let single people adopt? I don’t have anything against single parents, I’ve been one, but if this is an excuse for adoption why do they allow single applicants?
Q4). Funny, but I was a single (foster) parent. I’m now engaged, and my standard of living, education, employment and housing has always been just fine.
Q5). What baby? If you terminate a pregnancy there IS no baby.
Q6). As pointed out, open adoptions are not legally enforceable in the US. So the point is really null and void.
I think they’re horrendously vile marketing ploys designed to con people into abandoning their kids, so that the agencies can sell them off to the highest bidder – either that, or they demonstrate splendidly why single person adoption should be outlawed. You (generic) can’t have it both ways.
#1. If he’s Mr Right, then he’ll love you regardless of whether you’ve got kids or not – and if he doesn’t wanna accept you with a kid in tow, then he ain’t nowhere near Mr Right. Also, not every woman is interested in finding Mr Right.
#2. Bullshit. The father has as much right to parent HIS child as the mother does, and certainly more right to parent HIS child than some stranger.
#3. LOL, or I would, if it weren’t such a horrendously important topic. Actually, I can answer this one from personal experience, since I was abandoned to adoption, and my daughter (now 19) wasn’t, yet she was raised in a fatherless home: I’m deeply and completely screwed up as a result of the abandonment experience, and am in serious need of some appropriate psychological counselling in order to help me find ways to prevent all the destructive traits that I’ve developed as a result of being adopted. My daughter, on the other hand, who grew up with genetic mirroring, et al, is remarkably sane and calm and centred, and doesn’t need even the remotest iota of psychological counselling.
#4. Yes, they’re right, it MAY mean that those opportunities could be be severely limited, however, MAY and COULD do not equate to WILL and WOULD. If someone’s got the drive and determination to do these things, then they’re much more likely to be able to do them when they haven’t abandoned their kid because they’re much less likely to be suffering from depression and all the other traumas associated with surrendering a child.
#5. Actually, that entirely depends on the individual in question: It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do: http://www.imnotsorry.net/ –
Abortion: There is a Consensus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo
#6. Open adoption is almost never legally enforceable, and many parents have lost access to their children due to “open” adoption promises being broken. http://lifemothers.com/thewall.html and http://www.bringperihome.com/history.html and http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/wish.html and http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100709095305AAjeM4z all demonstrate this issue.
Also, just how incredibly difficult would it be to watch someone else raise YOUR child, especially when it gets to the stage where what the AP(s) think is “right” clashes massively with what you think is “right”? I know damn well it’d kill me to not be able to have a say in how MY child was parented, especially when it came to clashing opinions on major issues.
These statements do nothing more than attempt to reinforce the misogynistic cultural values that have developed over millennia as a result of religious intolerance and servitude.
Q1: Yeah…nothing makes a man want to stay put like no sleep, less money and lots of stress. A marriage based solely on children is one that will fail. Period.
Q2:It takes TWO to tango.
Q3: The idea that a woman alone will surely fail is an idiotic idea. It is ALOT easier with help and a partner but not impossible without.
Q4: My mother got dated and got married with TWO children. There are so many programs that will help you with childcare, tuition, housing and books while a single mother is going to school so she can get a degree and a high paying job. In all honesty it’s almost (and I stress almost) easier to go to school with children, there are so many programs to help you so you can not only go to school but not be in debt with student loans.
Q5: I do not agree with abortion but it is every woman’s personal choice
Q6: OPEN ADOPTION IS NOT LEGALLY ENFORCEABLE!!! It is all sugar and sweet until you are standing there with no rights whats so ever. Then the mother is the intruder and trying to butt in the lives of the adoptive parents and child when she “just needs to move on”. Contact is usually VERY VERY limited (no matter what they promise you) and the “news and updates” will without a doubt taper off with time.
Was there any pamphlets about programs to help single or young mothers? Any information about keeping families together? Doubtful and sad.
I saw the question the other day about “Why are women so eaily tricked into giving up their children?” Because it’s not one day…at every doctor’s visit, every clinc, every social worker’s office it is drilled in their head that single mother’s will 100% fail. end of story. Let’s see what happens when info is put out there about keeping your chidren and THAT is what these women see daily. Wonder what will happen to the adoption numbers…..?
The drivel they put in these pamphlets is not worth commenting on.
Suffice to say EVERY WORD printed in them is nothing more than PROFIT DRIVEN PROPAGANDA.
Nothing in this or any adoption literature I’ve ever read is anywhere near un-biased.
Oh my gawd! Where did you find this list????????
Q1- Oh yeah, prince charming galloped up on his shiny white horse because I abandoned my son… Problem was that I was such an emotional ruin he ran far, far, away from me and my batsh*t crazy.
Q2- Ahh those pesky fathers, always thinking they have rights because they make sperm.
Q3- So what happened to my family then? My brother was a car thief, I got knocked up at 16, neither of us went to college. Funny how adoption didn’t save us.
Q4- Why is dating and marriage suppose to be such a big deal anyhow? The RIGHT man won’t care if you have a kid, if he does he isn’t the right man. Again, no college for me and I surrendered my son. I’ve had good jobs, and lost them because I am batsh*t crazy over losing my son. PTSD isn’t exactly a good thing in the workforce. As for standard of living, mine is just fine! We eat well, have a nice home (even if it is a low income rental for now), we have nice clothes, toys, electronics etc.
Q5- I’ve done both. Abortion didn’t hurt one bit, physically or emotionally, losing my son to adoption has crippled me. I say suck the little effer down.
Q6- BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh my semi-open adoption is great! I’ve never gotten a picture, not ONE. No updates, no notes, no clue if he is even alive. Hooray for open adoption!
I think this is horsesh*t. Coercive lies.
Sweet Jeebus. I’m sorry this BS was ever handed off to you.
Q1: Yeah, because all the really good guys want to make sure you gave away that pesky kid, and didn’t have the audacity to raise him/her. And what is this “release” business? They make it sound like you’re standing on a hillside releasing caged doves. Get friggin’ real.
Q2: That’s right, Ladies. Men only matter when you are giving away your child to get one. On the off chance Daddy-O disagrees with you giving away his child, chalk it up to him being controlling and do it anyway.
Q3: I agree about the single parent adoption hypocricy. Plus, where are these stats from? The 50’s? They better make sure to also let everyone know that if they masturbate they’ll go blind, and if they keep making that face it’ll freeze that way. Good Lord. Junk science at it’s finest.
Q4: It’s possible that with one income rather than two, you may not enjoy the same so-called “quality” of life…To which I say…Who the he!! cares? I’d take my child over any of that other crap any day of the week.
Q5: Well, of course, since adoption has NO emotional consequences, RIGHT? HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Q6: They make it sound like the contact is decided at the Mother’s discretion. Not bloody likely. I’m sure the PAPs are told something very different, when they’re in the office with the broker alone. They are the paying customers, after all.
This is all so sickening. I’m sorry it was ever presented to you. 🙁
The one that stuck out the most was this:
“Adoption saves your child from the all too frequent damage that comes from being raised in a fatherless home.”
I feel that adoption CAUSED “damage” from being raised WITHOUT parents–my OWN mother and father.
There are no substitutes for your own parents.
My Response to Q1
The right man will marry you irregardless if you have children or not I agree with 7rin’s Response on that
And just because you where intimate with a man before marriage that doesn’t mean he will not marry you lol that’s crazy
Then why did my parents get married after I was born and why do many couples get married and have all ready had premarital affairs??
My Response to Q2
Not 100% true fathers have just as much of a right to express there rights to there own children
my Response to Q 3
That’s very unfair to assume that all individuals who grew up in a fatherless home end up in a troubled future , Yet I have seen that happen several times in my life my ex boyfriend grew up with out a father an he is in jail my friend grew up with out her father in her life an she is a mess right now
But by the same token My best friend grew up with out her father an she is a college graduate and is doing great so Its unfair to generalize like that !
my Response to Q 4
Though many things may be limited when you become a mother,that doesn’t mean that they still may have not happened even if you where childless.
When I had my son I had struggles believe me, I still maintained the goal to pursue what I still had planned for the rest of my life, I never used motherhood as an excuse of that never happening!
Allot of those choices like having a masters degree, being a CEO, marrying the perfect man
Still would have been a long shot even if I wasn’t a mother!
my Response to Q 5
Like I have Stated before that I have no opinion on Abortion Its not my fetus not my problem. It maybe a little hard for some women to recover emotionally from an Abortion, those women were probably forced or coerced into having an Abortion witch is cruel. If you notice women whom have had abortions an were not forced or coerced into an abortion Were very confident in there decision to abort, an you know what they have guts too =] I didn’t choose to abort because I personally don’t agree with it for MYSELF, what ever anyone else wants to do with there pregnancy is there problem not for me to judge or worry about!
my Response to Q 6
”*note that it says nothing about it not being legally enforcable in any state.*” Exactly it doesn’t
Obviously that is a fallacy I used to believe that to be true, BUt I was corrected !
I wasn’t allowed to contact my bio parents because they abused me, But from what I have herd from some women and men on here that not only is open adoption not legally enforced its very rare that a women (natural mother) will be able to have any contact with there child’s adoptive parents to let her know how her child is doing
I think that when it comes to Adoption if that is what the natural mother really wants to do with her pregnancy Let HER find the adoptive parents LET HER decide on what she wants done after all its HER child not anyone else to claim
Unbiased?!
Wow my b@st@rd daughter’s father married me 3 months 3 weeks before her birth, Heck when she was a month old and I went to Michael’s art’s and crafts I had a guy write me a letter stating how beautiful I was and how he was an average joe leaving his phone number on my 1985 Ford LTD. How he was ready to parent. Hubby ripped up the letter.
My first and final choice was mothering my children by raising them.
Wow I was raised in a married home the first 8 years of my life. And I can’t remember how many times me and my brothers were dropped off at grandma’s because they didn’t want us around. How many times I woke up at midnight and had to walk to the bar to find my parents drinking. Yeah being raised by married people I watched porn by 4 years old, and was drinking wine coolers by 3.
My mom did a better job as a single parent, we hated our step mother.
To many stupid people having a baby makes no different how far you go educational wise because furthering your education involves motivation and some people have none.
Abortion is the easier than adoption because the thought of losing one of my living breathing children in unbearable. Aborting a lump of cells or fetus that can’t survive outside the womb might hurt a little but is bearable.
Wow you have to agree with adoptive parents you mean the ones that want a baby more than anything and will say or do anything to get one?
Ok thoughts and comments: See above. I had a answer for each. I think they are a crock of b/s
My first 2 pregnancy were very much planned. My last one I considered abortion only because I was getting pressure from church members to adopt out. So I failed to bond with my last before pregnancy and had to build a bond. Even without the bond I still wanted her and love her. She is my flesh and blood, she is just another form of me and she thinks and acts like me.
People should never be allowed to approach pregnant women. Adoption is not answer to an unwanted pregnancy abortion is. Adoption is the answer to abused children or children grossly neglected. Children shouldn’t be taken away because they live in a dirty house, because they are poor, because their clothes are used, because they are sick, or because they miss school. Hell everybody should home school why pay teachers if there is a stay at home parents that could do a better job teaching kids that think like them.
Sorry got off subject. I truly believe adoption should be rare and I question cps on the grounds of the fourth amendment. If CPS shows at my door they will meet my second amendment. Texas tends to leave abused children and take the healthy white ones. Texas is one of the states that supports adoption and I think it supports it to much. There is a difference from a child being punished and a child being abused. Claim emotional abuse to the child in the state of Texas and they can remove your kids. Sick and Sad.
q3: adoption save your child from the all too frequent damage that comes from being raised in a fatherless home…”
so i guess all of those divorced adopted moms need to hand over dem’ kids!!!!?
this is sick and twisted. no wonder there are so many young women who are completely effed up by “adoption counselors.”
More proof to me that the coercive and demeaning tactics used during the BSE; continue.
Now they use the idea of “openness” as another enticement to single mothers who dare to consider raising their own children; but it’s the same insulting and condescending tone.
Sick!
interesting!?