My Mom’s a Drug Addict?
Question by Allie: My mom’s a drug addict?
So my mom was a good mom when i was very young, she was stable. She met my step dad who is like a father to me but he has issues of his own. He was always into drugs, so my mom is now to… my mom has a severe problem with opiates, and sleeping pills, every day she come’s home from work her eyes are all dilated and she’s so out of it she falls asleep standing up. It’s actually very annoying. My dad smoke’s a lot of MJ, but he is the same way just more controlled i guess. We move everywhere, I’m only 17. And I’ve lived in Ohio, Florida, Utah, it’s been an adventure but not a fun one. Switching high schools more than 6 time’s is very hard. My parents, mom and step dad, split for a couple of month’s so my mom became a raging alcoholic she has seizures always had since she was little. So it made life very hard, she was in and out of the hospital, tried to commit suicide couple of time’s in front of little sister. So they put her in a mental institute, she left within two days and still kept drinking. She has slowed down now but take’s pills at same time. She is just a mess i love her more than anything but don’t think there’s anyway to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselve’s. Help please!
Best answer:
Answer by Victoria
Thats horrible and I’m sorry you have to go through that and your so young ! I think you need to let you mom know everything she is doing and tell her that you aren’t happy with anything she’s doing tel her you want her to live . unfortunately theres not much else you can do but try and support her and love her and hope she makes the right choices , its all really up to her . If she refuses to change i suggest you go live with somebody else or get your own place so you can succeed with your life , just because she chooses to live like that doesn’t mean you or your sister have to , love. Take care . You’ll be in my prayers.
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Oh my god . I feel terrible for you. Sounds like you have went through a lot . It won’t be easy but you need to snap on her, withdraw , let her know she will lose you if she keeps this up. Because trying to reach out and help her might just aggravate her more. Give her a reason to to want to get better. It doesn’t sound like its doing her any good by staying with your step dad. But you need to be serious , straight forward and blunt with her about this. Showing her sympathy will do nothing. It will just make her want to keep on drowning in her own misery. I mean don’t act like you don’t care at all, but let her know your not going to keep on living with her bull crap. Make her choose.
Hi Allie, Your mom,step dad and maybe you are suffering from a hole inside.. they are trying to fill that hole with drugs and drinking… it won’t work… they can’t fill a hole meant for God with other things. I know a man who has done drugs and drinking since he was a teen he’s in his 50’s now. He took my advice and started reading the Bible…filling up the God hole with God. After 3 years he has started filling the hole with God, and now he might take a small swallow of alcohol every 4 months. That is a bit change in him in the last year. He no longer shakes violently,breaks out in sweats, panics, has nightmares… He is back on speaking terms with his son as well. You may need to fill your hole so that way you can deal easier with the problems while they work on their holes.. Know how I know this can work for all of you? If I worked for this guy it can work for you…and them. If they are impossible to deal with… I would suggest that you find a job maybe as a live in housekeeper. Sock back as much money as you can. Take courses at a community college and get an even higher paying job… Then you will out on your own and stay away from the stuff your parents are doing. I am sorry you didn’t have parents like mine. You would have been very happy; they never did either drugs or drinking; we never moved around and they loved us kids..I have put you and your parents on my prayer list. Hope this will help you and them..
It’s lovely to hear that you had some stable time with mom before her troubles piled up on her and you and your sister too, by the sounds of it.
You obviously love your mom and stepdad and have felt love from both of them growing up.
It’s also obvious that you know from all your experience growing up what your mom and your stepdad are suffering from, trying to run lives around their drink and drug use.
Even though you say your stepdad is more controlled it sounds like you and little sister have had to cope with a lot of chaos, in all it’s forms, because neither parent are willing or able to get the help they would need to arrest their addictions.
Addiction is such a powerful and complicated situation and is often called The Family Illness, because you are all suffering so much in so many ways.
You have shown in your email that you know the most important bit of information about addiction. That any effort to change must start with the addict themselves really wanting to do so.
This is a painfull and stark fact which you have already taken on board.
If your relationship with your stepdad is still ok perhaps you can really talk to him about how hard it has been for you and your sister, without switching all the blame on mom as being the worst culprit.
Maybe you have already done this with both parents.
Perhaps it is time to try and concentrate on yourself and seek some help to alleviate your own suffering and on a positive note start a process that will help you understand that you have a right to a life that can follow a different path from the one you have had to live so far.
You have gone through an awful lot already and really have to find your own way of recovering from both your parent’s substance misuse problems.
You have already found part of the answer by posting your story on this website.
It’s a sad truth that there are many many kids the world over that have had to grow up in circumstances similar to yours. Just sharing your story may give another child some comfort and understanding who is going through similar stuff. So well done.
There is a charity that specialises in helping kids who grow up with parents suffering from addiction, called Nacoa. You can email there counsellors at [email protected] . There is even a helpline number that you can ring from anywhere in the world, 0800 358 3456. They have a website which has useful information on it at http://www.nacoa.org.uk
Although your story is a very painful one it is clear that you understand neither parent is a bad person and there is love underneath all the troubles in your family.