How Often Can You Visit Your Babies in the NICU?

Question by tdoff: How often can you visit your babies in the NICU?
My daughter just had twins eight weeks premature. They were 4-14 and 4-4 at birth and are in the NICU. She visits them frequently, but is getting a vibe from the nurses that she is “in the way”. She is 21, unmarried, and has had a history of drug and alcohol abuse in her teen years, but none recently. She wants to bond with her babies, but is becoming more reluctant to go because of the way the nurses seem to regard her. What should she do?

Best answer:

Answer by chik7896
I went everyday. And if those nurses think she is getting in the way, I suggest she try to find new nurses. When my daughter was in the NICU, the nurses loved that I was there everyday, and I avtually got to do everything for my daughter. They told me that it was a great thing for my baby. Tell your daughter do not let the nurses discourage her, her babies need her now more then ever. Good Luck to her and everything will turn out jsut fine!

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12 Responses to How Often Can You Visit Your Babies in the NICU?

  • silybear123 says:

    Go over and speak to the nurses, they shouldn’t be acting like that, they are supposed to be caring….no??
    Best of luck to your daughter and your grandchildren

  • momma2beagain says:

    keep going! my daughter was born at 31 weeks too and i went everyday and stayed 8 hours it became frustrating for me so i ended up staying in the rooms they offer for a low cost at night. I am 23 was 22 when she was born and i didnt feel like i was a bother but i was very quit but asked a lot of questions cause i was worried…and i think having a baby eight weeks early you are going to worry and want to bond with them even more. i would tell your friend that she has EVERY RIGHT to be there. Do what she wants and what makes her happy there HER babies.
    tell your friend to hang in there it’s hard but when she takes them home it will be all worth it.

  • lisaanndubay says:

    u can go see um as much as u want. i went 2 times a day when my son was in the nicu.

  • Vanessa H says:

    if it your baby,, anytime you want. you should have 24 hours available to your baby. but family has certain time frames.. you don’t want to many peoplein there with ohter sick babys.
    then the babys wont get better. make sure your hands and others stay off babys face and no kisses in babys face or hands.

  • jaidensmommy says:

    my nephew was in NICU and my sis visited so often that she asked the nurses if it was a problem. the nurses said it is when you “don’t” go that they have a problem. check the hospital rules. if you are allowed to visit the baby as often as you want then tell her not to worry about the nurses.

  • amy l says:

    as long as its visiting hours she can be there as long as she likes unless asked by nurses and doctors to leave do to her or another baby’s medical needs. My two oldest were both in the nicu when they were born an i could spend as much time with them as i wanted. The unit did close 4 times a day for rounds and shift change this only lasted an hour each time other then that i lived at the hospital.

  • RLM says:

    She should continue to go and bond with her babies, take part in their care and ask questions. We NICU nurses actually DO like our parents and want to help them, but I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I just want to do my job without interference. That may sound bad, but we’ve all been there. The NICU is a life-altering environment, for all concerned, but your daughter is still their mother and should not back off from visiting. A visit with the NICU social worker is a good idea.

    As a side note to the post below by mystic_eye….telling the NICU RN’s to “f off” is impolite and completey uncalled for. We are professionals, not idiots. The job can be extremely difficult, sad, and scary for us, too, and most of the time we do a darn good job. It is stressful being responsible for someone else’s child, especially one who is in a life-or-death situation. None of us starts our shift with the intention of making a parent feel bad or that they’re in the way or incompetent, but, yes, it can happen.

  • Kitchenwitch says:

    How sad the nurses aren’t as encouraging as those that looked after my babba. However old or whatever your daughters circumstances are is irrelevant; She can go whenever she likes. We stayed in the ward for nothing, and the nurses were so pleased we spent so much time there.

  • Mommy of four says:

    You should be able to be there as much as you want except maybe during shift change. I stayed all day with my daughter but had to leave the room during shift change because of patient confidentiality (as the nurses/doctors discussed other babies other than my own) they should be able to even offer her a room if her baby is going to be in there for some time. I was able to board at the hospital and stay as long as I wanted with her. I would go to my room at night and the nurses would call me once she was strong enough and able to nurse so I was even able to be there for her overnight as well. The nurses aren’t there to judge her and she needs to fight for her right to be with her baby as often as she wants even if she has to threaten having her daughter moved to another hospital

  • chrislynn_b_83 says:

    My son was in the NICU for 120 days, he was 15 weeks premature. In the beginning, I felt much like your daughter. The nurses feel (I think) that is is their job to take care of the babies, and that is more difficult to do with a parent “looking over their shoulder”. The thing that worked for us was to simply continue going. I became as active in my son’s care as possible, I learned everything I could about my son’s conditions, what could happen, the machines, the meds, and his treatment plan. I bought books on preemies and studied them when I wasn’t in the NICU. I brought things into the NICU for my son, decorated his “space”, and advocated for him. I spoke to the doctors intelligently, not just like a greiving mother. One of the most important things, I think, was that I took no crap. I didn’t allow them to talk down to me because they were professionals, and if they were using terms with which I was unfamiliar, I asked questions until I completly understood, and I didn’t feel bad for doing it. I asserted my authority as his mother, which is just as important as being his doctor or nurse. I think I ended up earning the nurse’s respect, and this helped. After a while, they seemed to look forward to me coming, because they knew I was capable of taking care of my baby, and that they didn’t have to watch me every second of my visit, and that I wasn’t out to “get” them. It’s important for her to realize that while her babies are in the NICU they are ultimately the doctor’s and nurse’s responsiblity, and they usually take that very seriously and become very protective of the babies. I think this is a good thing. Your daughter just needs to show them that she is serious about being a good mother, especially to babies who need special care. Tell your daughter not to allow them to make her feel that way, she is doing what’s right for her babies, and its high time she let them know that. Good grief, I guess that’s finally all. Good luck, and congratulations on the beatiful babies!

  • No Longer Dizzy says:

    Staff in these places can be a bit abrupt. She should just block it out and visit her children whenever she wants to.

  • Hokie For Life *Missing You JLL* says:

    I was there all day, everyday. My husband and I would leave to go eat, but either my parents or his were there with our son. The nurses in the NICU were really great to us. We were able to change his diapers, feed him and do basic care for him, and learn any special care he may need when he was able to go home.

    It’s hard to believe they think she’s in the way, those are her babies, she should be there!

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