Drug Addicts or Former Drug Addicts, Please Help.?
Question by ***: Drug addicts or former drug addicts, please help.?
My husband is picking small fights with me and our 9yr old. He’s been using cocaine on and off for 3 yrs. For the most part when he hasn’t been using he has either been locked up in a rehab or doing jail time. What I’m trying to understand is if drug users look for any excuse to use and why? What do I say to him during these situations where he acts irrational and threatens to go use? I’m almost 6 months pregnant and need a drug free environment for my family. Any suggestions on how to cope, understand, or approach this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks- Lauren
Best answer:
Answer by Kris
His behavior is not going to change – he is addicted to the coke. It is not a healthy environment for you and your baby to be. Call a women’s abuse center to see if you can get help.
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6 Responses to Drug Addicts or Former Drug Addicts, Please Help.?
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You need to go forge out a life for you and your kids….cut your losses and get on with it. Don’t be selfish and stay with him because your kids deserve better and your feelings, well sorry, they just don’t count anymore since you had kids….it’s ALL about the kids now, and if it isn’t then you are not a good parent….simple as that.
i know it’s tough but he is not the one for you. it’s a sign that all he cares about right now is himself and coke when he threatens to go use to hurt you. i used to be like this, it ruined my life. i lost everyone near me for a while. it’s very tough to build your life back up and all just because of some uppers. i’m not going to tell you to leave him or threaten to leave him, that’s not my place to say right now but just show him that family is important to you and that if he really loves you and wants to be happy with you then he needs to be serious about getting help and not just going to rehab when he’s caught. ask him if he really wants your children to grow up and be like him, because i promise you that it rubs off on them. this woman i used to be friends with when i used to do drugs had a father who was mass producing and selling all kinds of methamphetamines and now she’s 25 with 3 kids with a horribly abusive boyfriend who makes her beg on her knees if she talks back to him. i would never want my kids to grow up and be in a situation like that just because i wasn’t a good parent. so tell him that you won’t stand for your kids growing up like him so he’d better straighten up his act! i’m so sorry this is happening to you.
By staying and letting him enjoy the perks of a family even though he is using is wrong. You need to give him an ultimatum of getting help or being alone.And if you knew he had these problems and was going to be absent due to jail and rehab why would you have another child? The only way to cope is to get out and start over for your children.
First and foremost, I have been there and I deeply apologize because I really feel for you. You mentioned he has already been to rehab and jail. Honey, those are basically the last resorts. If you care about your pregnancy and child, you will have to leave him, it is hard to hear but your priority is your children first.
Leave for a few days. He’ll get the clue. Been there done that. If he loves himself and loves you he’ll stop. It’s hard to get them to change. Get him to a drug rehab center & family counseling. My husband never got abusive towards me b/c he knew I wasn’t scared of him and I’d bust his butt. Let him know that you love him but you won’t tolerate his behavior. It’s hard to deal with. I found out from my husband’s exwife on our 1 year anniversary (of our first date). Didn’t know her and didn’t know about the son that they had together either. She told me alot I didn’t know. We went through hell but came out stronger on the other side. Good luck
Sadly there is nothing you can do to make him stop he has to do it on his own and probably won’t listen to anyone. You should get away from him and think about you and your children’s future. Maybe he will change maybe not you have no control of that, you do have the control to get him out of your life.