Should I Leave My Drug Addicted Boyfriend?
Question by Song Bird: Should I leave my drug addicted boyfriend?
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He has grown up a lot since then. He used to be addicted to cocaine. He stopped when I met him and never touched it again. Over the past two years he has struggled with an Oxycontin addiction and I am afraid it may never go away. He has tried Suboxone and Subutext (spelling?) and will not go to counseling or a Methadone Clinic. He can’t afford to go to rehab because of the cost but he would also lose his job which offers great opportunity for him. I know he wants to quit to some extent because he has cut back but he has never just stopped. We have lived together for some time and I am to blame for somethings because I enabled him before it got so bad. Now he needs money for gas and food and god knows what else he uses it for. I don’t give him much when I do and I know i shouldn’t give him anything but it makes my life miserable when he gets in those moods. Although you are probably reading this thinking he is a loser and I should run… it’s different when he is someone who I have loved for 5 years and is my best friend. I’m worried if I go he will do something incredibly stupid. I could afford to live alone if I got the money back he owes me. What do I do… Please no : “He’s a loser dump his ass”. I am honestly asking for real advice…
Best answer:
Answer by cpcii
IMHO: To be honest you should be running for the hills, if he was your best friend, he wouldn’t be asking for money for drugs or anything and he should take your help in getting off the drugs. Yes it is expsensive to quit, but he’ll save more money over the long run in not having to buy the drugs. He just substituted one for the other.
If he has health insurance at his company they generally have a privacy policy and maybe can help offset the cost of the rehab.
You should try and focus on your own life first and find out what is best for YOU before him, if you rlife is in order then focus on his but your life is in shambles because of him. Consider the money given to him GONE and never to return and get away from him and stop enabling him.
Life is tough and requires tough choices, make one that is right for you.
What do you think? Answer below!
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4 Responses to Should I Leave My Drug Addicted Boyfriend?
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I understand your pain….Bt you’ve invested 5 years in him to just up and run for the hills. i think you should stick by his side, every good relationships have there ups and down!. When it comes to the whole money thing don’t give him the money rather, put the gas in his car for him or buy the groceries for him. By putting it in his hand your giving him the choice to go buy the drugs instead of using the money properly!
Well, you’ve got to ask yourself; does being with him make you happy? By the sounds of it, he actually might pull you into bankruptcy, though, so the decision should be quick.
And hey, I understand how hard it is to leave someone you’ve loved for 5 years, but think, for one moment, about you. Is he hurting you? Your health? Your life?
If so, I’m going to be bluntly honest, leave him. because if you don’t, you’ll be sick for many years to come, trust me. My mum went through -sortive- the same thing. A man drove her into bankruptcy and kicked her son out, causing a lot of stress.
Focus on you right now, not him and his drug addiction. Will -you- be okay in the long run?
Get out before it is too late.
You do not need those problems.
What are you doing tomorrow evening? How about attending the Nashua, NH Nar-anon newcomers meeting 6:30 at the Southern NH Medical Center West Campus and staying for the weekly meeting at 7. Go to http://www.nar-anon.org for more information. I found it under NH meetings.
Sweetheart, they know drug addiction since they are the family and friends of addicts. They know what you are going through because they have been there, done that, know what you are talkinig about because they have lived it or are living it. They will also know what treatment programs are available in the area. But most of all they will be able to talk to you about what you go through on a daily basis living with an addict. They can also talk to you about your fears. Please, please check out the web-site and go to a meeting if not in Nashua somewhere else.